It Doesn't Matter
by Misha
Summary: Sometimes it doesn't matter what you want.


It Doesn't Matter By Misha-Chan 

Disclaimer- I don't in any way, shape, or form, own Sailor Moon or any thing associated with the character. I do own this story, but it is a total work of fiction. I also don't own the song "It Doesn't Matter", it belongs to Alison Krauss and Union Station. I am not making money off this story, so please don't sue me.   
Author's Notes- This is Raye/Serena/Darien angst and it's set after Sailor Moon R, but before Sailor Moon S. I know by the end of R, Raye is way over Darien, but that's the only time this story fit, so bear with me. I was listening to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer soundtrack when I got this idea. The song I use is on there, track #13 if you care. "It Doesn't Matter" by Alison Krauss and Union Station. Anyway, enjoy. 

The scouts were having a night on the town, their first in months. 

Greg, Chad, Darien, Ken, and Andrew had joined them and they had all gone to a dance club that Mina had heard about. 

Everyone was having a great time, except Raye. 

All she could think about was Serena and Darien and how happy they looked. 

_It should be me._ She thought sadly. 

She had really thought she was over him, but in the end she guessed she was only fooling herself. 

_Why now?_ She asked herself. 

It had been months since she and Darien had dated. She thought that she had gotten over him. After all Rini proved that he would never be hers. 

Just as she was about to get really depressed a song she had never heard before began to play. 

_It doesn't matter what I want   
It doesn't matter what I need   
It doesn't matter if I cry   
Don't matter if I bleed_

Raye looked over at Serena and Darien and saw Serena stand up and drag Darien to the dance floor. 

"It doesn't matter what I want." Raye repeated softly, realising how true it was. 

What she wanted or did didn't matter. It wouldn't change the fact that Darien was destined to be with Serena and always had been. 

She looked at the others and saw that Lita and Ken and Greg and Ami had followed Serena and Darien's example and were dancing. Andrew, who had recently broken up with Rita, held out his hand to Mina who took it with a smile. 

She then relaised that Chad was watching her intensely. 

_You've been on a road   
Don't know where it goes or where it leads_

Raye looked over at Chad and then stood up. 

"Do you want to dance?" She asked softly. 

Chad looked surprised. "Me?" 

Raye smiled. "Yeah, you. Who else?" 

"Sure!" Chad exclaimed, leading her out on to the dance floor. 

Raye rested her head on his shoulder and tried not look over at Serena and Darien. __

It doesn't matter what I want   
It doesn't matter what I need   
If you've made up your mind to go   
I won't beg you to stay 

_I couldn't force him to love me._ Raye realised. _But if I had said something, they would have stayed away from each other._

She knew that if Serena even guessed that she still cared about Darien as much as she did that it would tear her in two. 

_I can't do that to her. Besides she's the one he always loved, even back then._

She smiled ruefully as she remembered the hidden affection she used to see in 

Darien's eyes when he watched Serena back in the days before they had learnt of their past. 

_He loves her. It doesn't matter what I want, because that will never change._

_You've been in a cage   
Throw you to the wind you fly away_

Raye looked up at Chad and smiled slightly. 

_Why have I never noticed before how cute he is?_ She wondered to herself. _He's not Darien, but..._

She knew that Chad had feelings for her and for the first time she wondered if she could return those feelings. 

She realised then that she already did. She genuinely liked him and she was also attracted to him. Maybe, he was just what she needed to move on. 

_It doesn't matter what I want   
It doesn't matter what I need   
It doesn't matter if I cry   
Doesn't matter if I bleed_

"It doesn't matter." She repeated again, looking over at Darien who was holding Serena gently in his arms. 

_You can't force someone to love you._ She thought sadly, blinking back tears. _But you can let go. And I will. Darien doesn't love me, he never has, and he never will. I have to let go._

She looked up at Chad once more and smiled. 

_Feel the sting of tears   
Falling on this face you've loved for years_

"Chad?" She whispered as the song ended and they returned to their table. 

"Yeah, Raye?" 

"How would you like to go out sometime?" She asked, smiling confidently. 

Chad looked totally shocked. "Wow! Really? I'd love to!" 

Raye smiled again. 

She wouldn't be able to let go of Darien instantly, but it was a start. 

The End 


End file.
